Yeah, so about 30 minutes ago was the last minute of what was supposed to be a special day for me, because it's the first date of the month and I usually celebrate something with "that" special someone. But no, it's not special at all.

I thought it would be easy to have a relationship like this. I mean, not as easy as when we were  still together living in the same place, but yeah... just didn't think that it would be this hard.

I thought we would be fine. But I'm just at the verge of losing everything. Losing my patience, my tolerance, my time, and especially losing you, who I thought would be the right one for me.

I'm not sure about what could happen after this, whether we might get back together or not, but I just want you to know that...

You're the first person who can make me love this hard.

I gotta tell you the truth that you're sometimes annoying. You're still too childish for me (not that I'm all grown-up, you know). You flirt with other girls a little too much I sometimes hate it and not trust you for it. You're not that kind of "gentleman" afterall. You upset me a lot. You once made me cry every night for a whole month. I don't know, you actually hurt me a lot.. It's not like I like being hurt by you, but then I stayed. Because I love you too much.

I love your smiles and the dimples your cheeks made when you do it.
I love your jokes, although sometimes they're not funny at all.
I love how you hold my hands.
I love how you're facing me when we walked together, and you walking backwards.
I love how you hugged me.
I love the way you kissed me.
I love your laughs, and how it can make me laugh too, and made me forgot my anger to you.
I love you and your love for basketball.
I love you and your tears.
I love you and your complaints if things didn't turn out like you expected it to be.

I love everything about you.

But then I also hate you for making me wait.
I hate you for making me cry.
I hate you for not making me feel special.

I hate you for making me love you this hard.

I might delete this post one day. Either because I finally got over you, or because I feel that I just love everything about you and don't want anyone to know these amazing things about you that I love.

But here I just want you to know,
that you once (or forever) held a really special place in my heart,
and you're the only (if not the first) person I love more than anything else.

I'm glad that I met you:)